mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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