Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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