Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
