we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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