If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You can't motorboat a personality
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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