South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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