i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
