She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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