He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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