You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
