the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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