i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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