roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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