Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
