Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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