I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
