I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
