it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
