so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
