Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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