wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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