Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
