i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
