Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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