so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just tell him i said nine months
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
