Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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