Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
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... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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