Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I currently don't understand fingers.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
