my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
