that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
