i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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