so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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