this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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