I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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