Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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