Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You ate ashes out of my bong
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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