I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Help. Why am I so naked?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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