He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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