Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
