i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize