break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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