my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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