ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
