Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
