I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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