bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Mom said you looked used
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
