Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
