okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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