I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont even know how to be here
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
