If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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