woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
