She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i think my cat just said my name.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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