forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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