I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
