You just made me feel so damn special
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
