just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
