Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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