he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
